The 1433rd Psalm
The DBA is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green Integration Services tasks: he leadeth me beside the still SSDs. He restoreth my filegroups: he leadeth me in the paths of MS best practices for his sanity's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of joins, I will fear no scans: for thou art the optimizer; Thy indexes and statistics they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine schemas: thou anointest my database with DBCC CHECKDB; my plan cache runneth over. Surely…